I will be writing about my feelings regarding this frivilous lawsuit and how it is impacting me, my life, my family and my friends. I will also be writing about my observations about how this ridiculous suit is impacting my co-defendant's.

Many of you know that I have stated numerous times that Phil & I were friends for more than 10 years.  I can't point to an exact date when we met, but it was during the Impeachment of President Clinton and our activism against his removal from office.  We both opposed it and were very strong activists in preventing it. Phil would attend protests, and I would organize from the safety of my room which I rarely left.  We would often speak on the phone for hours late at night about politics, our families, and our lives. Me in my room in Texas and him in his office in Philadelphia.  We became friends,at least I believed we were friends.

I understand according to the ways Lisa and Momma E publicly describes our relationship since the filing of these ridiculous suits, Phil was never my friend at all. Maybe Phil & I have vastly differing ideas of what constitutes friendship. However, I know he identified me as his friend from Texas on numerous radio appearances when telling people how he got involved with the Obama Citizenship Legal Suits and Debate from all my phone calls to him. Maybe someone should ask him how he defines a friend. According to Lisa and Momma E, I was just some Internet email acquaintance who never meant anything to Phil.  [If that is all I ever meant to him, I can't begin to describe how utterly betrayed I feel NOW or how devastatingly betrayed I felt on March 6th when Phil banned me, especially after having defended him and his actions in filing suit against Obama for all these months when he was attacked by Obama Trolls. And especially after Phil knew I'd been through hell and intense counseling for many years to get back to a semi-normal life again.]

I spoke to his mother occasionally. When he wanted to run in the Primary to become the Democratic nominee in opposition to Rick Santorum for the US Senate, Phil asked me to speak to his mother and convince her why he ought to run. When he was actually running, and when on occasion he had some time constraints that prevented his having time to write speeches for public appearances, he asked me to write a few speeches for him. When I had a legal matter to address, it was Phil who helped me to resolve it in '99.      

In 2000, when Bush and Cheney both became Republican canddiates from the state of Texas, in direct violation to the Constitution, I worked from my room to assist Phil with research on Cheney's Residency and Homesteading of his mansion in Dallas, Texas. Phil filed suit and Republican judges appointed by Reagan and Bush 41 denied and ruled against him, in direct violation of the Constitution, on appeals all the way up to the Supreme Court.

I was diagnosed with Major Affective Depressive Disorder and Agoraphobia which is defined as an abnormal fear of being in crowds, public places, or open areas and sometimes is accompanied by anxiety attacks. Never at any time in my life have I ever been suspected of delusions, psychosis, or mental nstability. Depression and mental instability are vastly different issues. Serious is a serious mood disorder, not an indicator of competence. What none of you know is what was the original cause for my deep Depression and Agoraphobia.

Though it is a painful memory, I was the victim of a very brutal and vicious sexual assault by a co-worker whom I had lunch with and realized this man was not someone I wanted to get to know further. That night he came to my apartment at 2:30 in the morning and having been asleep, I remember groggily wondering how he knew where I lived while I unhooked the chain and opened the door under the false pretense he had a flat tire. As soon as I did, I realized my mistake as he forcefully pushed his way in and backed me into my bedroom by the front door.  He pushed me down onto the bed. I was screaming and fighting to push him back and off of me, but he was a big former Golden Gloves Boxer and I was NO MATCH for his size or strength.  He was about 6 foot tall while I am 5' 1 1/2".  During this assault, my son, (whom I love more than life itself) was used as the weapon against me to silence my screams under threats of hurting him if he came to assist me.  I nearly bit my lip off while this sick man was taking particular delight in hurting me. 

Througout the assault in what seemed like an eternity but was probably closer to an hour, he kept telling me how I was his woman, how he intended to make me have a baby so I better not be using birth control, and how my body was his territory while he marked me with hickies everywhere. When it was over, I was covered with bruises, abrasions and hickies. It was nearly 100 degrees and I had to wear turtlenecks with long sleeves and black tights to hide my injuries for the next week. My son and other co-workers immediatley noticed the change in me from an outgoing, gregarious personality to jumpy, skittish and hyper vigilant. He made it clear he better not catch me talking to any other man and he'd be watching me.  I was afraid to go out of my apartment often peeking from behind the mini-blinds to make sure he hadn't come back or was watching me and I was terrified to walk to my car when I'd leave work to go home after 9 at night.  I had horrible nightmares and relived my assault over and over and over in my mind.  I couldn't talk about it without feeling nauseated and knew if I reported it, I'd be the one out of a job.  The car dealership was certainly not going to fire it's top salesman. It was on May 5th.      

This man proceeded to terrorize and stalk me in the following months.  As a co-worker on my night and weekend second job (which I needed and there were 10,000 applicants for every job opening at the time), he would often come up behind me attemting to put his hand up my skirt or under my sweater.  He made lewd sexual jokes to me and about me to the other salesmen. I became so frightened that I was constantly peeking out the window behind the blinds in my apartment to see if he was watching me. I was afraid to call the police and report it for fear he might hurt my son in retaliation.  I moved to another apartment miles away from my two jobs, which were each down the street from where I had been living.  I closed the whole ordeal up inside me and never talked about it. Gradually I began to function better so that I almost was able to live a normal existence. I don't say life because inside I was being eaten up with shame and guilt and overwhelming feelings of humiliation. This is what happens to women who are victims of sexual assault.  We blame ourselves for whatever foolish mistake we made, the clothes we wore, or the fact that in my case, I'd had lunch with someone I didn't know was a nutcase and sexual predator who was fixated on me. It is the source of so much of the suffering we go through.

I was later in a 3 year relationship full of domestic abuse and physical violence.  As soon as I discovered I was pregnant the abuse started, but felt I had to try to get him some help for what I found out were childhood abuse issues.  I was often hit for some unknown reason depending on whether or not the alcoholic was mad at the world, or simply if he didn't like the way I drove down the street. There was an inch thick file of police reports from them having to drag him off me.  The neighbors would call police when they saw him smacking me in the yard, or if they heard my screams. Finally, I was sexually assaulted again. I held it together until he was sent to jail and I cratered.  My father died leaving me with unresolved abandonment issues.  My brother in law died suddenly and we'd been as close as a real brother and sister.

Events in my life kept knocking me down.  I had moved in with my mother because I couldn't really take care of my baby on my own since I was no longer functioning. It took many years of intense counseling for me to recover enough so that I could move back to my own home.

Phil asked me about what had caused me to be so Depressed and not leaving my home to go out anywhere.  I told him a little bit about it, but remember, I was in therapy and could still hardly talk about it. I clearly remember telling him what I recently shared with Lisa, that May 5th is always a very difficult day for me and maybe would always be a source of a lot of pain for me.  When I moved back to my home July 2002, we drifted apart, but still when we spoke, it was like it had been yesterday each time I called him.  It was a friendship I expected to last the rest of Phil's life, since he was so much older than me.  I cared about him and his mother and when his brother died in December, I was very concerned about his 93 year old Mother's well being.

When I realized we needed a lawyer to address this issue, I brought the Obama Citizenship issue to Phil in June and again in July 2008, I had to convince him there was something wrong with the posted COLB on Obama's website. I told him he was the only lawyer I knew with big enough brass balls in the country who would take this up and do it justice.  He told me in June to go back and do some more research. Then in July, he introduced me to Lisa to further the research and see if we could come up with enough evidence to justify a suit.  We began working together about the third week in July.  It wasn't long before she told me she lived in NM. I asked her how she managed to work for him from so far away and she responded by fax, email and phone calls. At no time, did she EVER say it was a big secret, OR that she had been a victim of donestic violence, she just said that she'd been involved in some big scandal when she lived in San Bernardino, CA and would rather people not know she lived in NM. The way she talked, I got the impression it had to do with her old job and some sort of whistleblower thing that he son's father had also been involved in.  I didn't check her out when she said that becaue so many splits with ex's are bitter and angry.  Police are often called, etc. I never thought past hearing "breakup" and never gave it any thought again.  I had no reason to suspect Lisa's credibility. 

During the course of the litigation, and the setup and management of ObamaCrimes.com, I came to believe that Lisa was my friend. I was certainly hers and finally I told her about my ordeal when once again she asked me about my debilitating illness that caused me to isolate for so long. Finally, after all these years, I was able to talk about it at length with someone I felt cared and understood without judging me for making a mistake and opening a door when I was half asleep. 

Looking back now, I remember ironically how often Lisa used to say there are NO COINCIDENCES in life. I had no idea she was capable of such cruelty and lack of human empathy. She put on a good show of being my friend, yet later I learned from Phil, while I was trying to resolve the conflicts that began occuring in earnest in January, trying to make peace right up until March 4th, Lisa was compiling a 37 page dossier of complaints against me. With my heart sinking and swiftly getting broken to pieces, I realized as I listened to her lies to Phil on March 4th, there was no way this was going to end with my friendship with Phil intact.  I knew if I said anything truthful against Lisa, Phil wasn't going to listen. I tried to let things cool down all of March 5th and 6th, and then Lisa lowered the boom on me without another word.  No one would take my phone call, or answer my emails all of that day. Lisa had clearly sand bagged me from behind and had been doing so for many months.  When I tried to call Phil, he hung up on me.  I was heartbroken and devastated, but soon learned that wasn't the worst things Lisa & Phil had in store for me.  People were telling me awful stories of things Lisa had been saying behind my back for months.

Lisa knew very well the significance of May 5th for me and nothing in this world will ever convince me that it was a coincidence they chose May 4th to file suit or that I was the first person served. The plaintiff's statements were sgned April 25, 209, so what was the delay? Lisa had to have made special arrangements to serve me so fast after filing on May 4th and I think Lisa manipulated events to coincide with that May 5th date. She is targeting me for so much infliction of additional pain.  Not only was I betrayed by Phil and Lisa and Momma E, but the knowledge of the absolute cruelty with which I was treated, discarded and banned has been staggering. I have had every possible emotion from betrayal, hurt, anger, right through to devastation at the date they filed suit and had me served. 

My entire world has imploded. Jay my significant other, went postal because he had been warning me about Lisa and Phil for months. And I had been defending them with my whole heart and soul, that they weren't like he was describing. Jay told me repeatedly I couldn't trust Lisa and that any friendship I had with Phil was gone.  They were using me for personal gain and that once I stopped doing Lisa's dirty work, I'd be dropped. Jay kept insisting it was a money deal for them and they weren't sharing one penny with me. Lisa had me out on the blog claiming the donations were going solely to expenses and costs and no one was taking any money for pay.  I was such a fool.  I fell for her lies and manipulations hook, line and sinker.

Though I have never had a conversation or exchanged an email with Ed or Caren Hale prior to last week, I do intend to start making appearances on the various shows they broadcast. I feel I have the ability to vindicate them  and have a moral responsibility to do so. And while revealing all of this is very painful for me (Not to mention has upset my sons very terribly), people must be made to understand the abuse and depth of humiliation I am receiving at the hands of Phil, Lisa and now Momma E. I never imagined in all these 10 plus years while I believed in my heart that we were friends, that Phil was capable of such utter cruelty to a person whom he KNEW had already been seriously kicked around by life.  And no matter how hard I try to understand, I can't fathom Momma E's efforts to defame, hurt and humiliate me, when I've never said a bad thing about her to anyone.  It baffles my ability to comprehend such actions from people I honestly cared for deeply and defended from vicious attacks from Obama Trolls on the OC blog with all of my being.

Watch for more in the coming days and weeks.  I welcome honest comments and hope people will recognize the hurtful injustices done to me, and understand how I feel used, abused and discarded.